let me save myself first
by hellahijabi
Summary: "Zero, I realized that I cannot save you. I can only save myself. Maybe from you, too." Zeki-ish, though not really. Re-edited from my old fanfic "To die for" R&R.


let me save myself first

Prologue: stained ink

Chosen lyrics for this chapter:

_I won't fall asleep_

_I won't fall asleep_

Tiptoe By Imagine Dragons

"Zero," That word- that _name- _it burned your insides, and began to eat at your heart. "Where are you going?"

He doesn't respond, which is normal, he doesn't turn to even look at you, which is supposed to be normal as well. But they're are some things you don't even remember, remembering as normal.

"_Zero,"_ you insist, for your insides are mush-no confidence left. You smile warily at him, "Come on?"

you grab his wrist dragging him to his feet, you turn your head in the other direction so your eyes couldn't wander into his. His cold eyes, etched in the left side of your brain stinging the memories like salt water splashed onto open wounds.

This cold demeanor- this shell of a person- it wasn't always like this.

Zero and you were-are childhood friends. you don't remember a time where the two of you weren't together, though you have only been together the time you have actually remembered it.

You see dear reader, the memories of you childhood have been taken from me and you truly know nothing of it. Zero stumbled into your life, a broken boy, covered in blood scarred-externally no, internally yes. His parents were killed by pureblood vampires. So he hates them, which is understandable. Life has been still since then, as the guardians of the Night and Day class protect the humans from the beasts in human form.

And yet, Zero is a vampire as well. And through his suffering- you was stupid enough to fall-

"Yuuki," you spiral around, still clutching his wrist in your palm. Not quick enough to retort he says, "Let go,"

Again and again Zero shows that he does not care, for what you feel or for you at all. Which makes you recoil back, as your heart squeezed painfully up and slammed the gate closed behind it.

"Leave me alone,"

...

You don't remember running or crying or anything. It all seems like a frigid dream, ones that leaves you hurting a little inside every time you recall it. The ones that kept you awake hours after they ended, your head jumbled and all your thoughts tossed down a endless spiraling staircase. Though the sunset outside tells you it did happen-it was real.

"Yuuki-chan?" A masculine voice echoes through the hallways of the headmasters chambers. Kaname-sama- the president of the Night Class. The handsome, the beautiful, the intellgien-

"Yuuki?" The voice repeats and you jolt realizing he is-indeed speaking to you.

"Kaname-sama?" You get up, pressing your wrinkled uniform skirt back into it's pleats. "What is it?"

"Oh, Yuuki. Why are you attending to bed so early in the afternoon?" He enters your small room, making you realize how small of a room it really is.

"Huh…" You're a little confused, and a little uncomfortable by his presence- you know he is a Pureblood vampire, you know he saved you once before, you know but… You smile anyway. " I was feeling a little stressed for the upcoming exams. I just wanted to maybe, you know, preserve my energy."

His step forwards, a little to fast for a human, getting a chill to revive out of your bones into the planes of your skin. you don't see him raise a hand, but you feel his hand on your face. And you flinch, and pull back. Give him a little laugh, and step back.

"Kaname-sama…. I'm just a little tired" You scared, for his eyes are flashing red, DANGER DANGER DANGER.

Where is Zero when you need him, where is he was you fucking need him?

He stops moving forward, because he can see the fear in your eyes. "Yuuki…" He calls out to you, but you close your eyes and breathe a little, then head towards the door.

"Sorry, Kaname-sama," Because you can see the pain etched on his face- the fear reflected in his eyes from yours.

…

You walk into the empty room, exhausted. You walk to the counter and sigh, picking up the already re-sealed letter.

_Let this be a warning to all those fucking vampire-killers, You were the purebred- pureblood princess of Kuran. You need to stand up and finish this fight. Or I promise you i will destroy Cross academy, and that stupid ex-hunter you cling to so dear._

_Leave the Kaine- leave the academy and come to me. You have 3 days from the day you receive this letter. Move to Paris._

_And try to save the ones around you, you little wench._

the rest of the letter explained your past, present and future- and you wonder how it got so bad, so fast. When you said you wanted answers, you didn't mean it, not like this.

Though the words that shook you down to the tail of your spinal cord, shaking your body with a warning worse than in Kaname's glowing eyes- were the last.

_Wake up, you bitch. All you need is to drink the blood you've always craved for._

And you suddenly weren't able to grasp the reality.

…

**So here's the edited like hell, eaten-out-plot-so-it-didn't-suck-as-much, Zeki brimmed to the drowning fic that i started in my first fan fictions on FF. It's scary because reading through it, it made me want to crawl over and die about how HORRIBLE it was. Seriously people-why did you even comment on any of my vampire knight fan fictions.**

**And yes, i know that vampire knight is soon ending, (my head canon is still Zeki btw) and as much as people like to argue their own head canon i do too.**

**But unlike most people, i actually wrote a 2k word essay to prove it- so if you need it (to read it) PM me and i'll send it too you.**

**About this prologue: It's short because it was supposed to be the summary, it's plot is WAY more detailed than the original fic, but kinda the same character development.**


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